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Dating is the same—we've reached critical mass, and that critical mass is critical on getting their mass touched. Anyway, with the act of dating living solely on a mobile platform, the dating app reigns supreme. Hey, gotta quench that thirst somehow—what's that famous Mother Teresa quote?
Oh yes: "Get it girl, get it get it get it, girl." A dating app that allows people to meet based on their intellectual capacities rather than their looks! But, you know what happens when two smart people meet?
What's more sexy than finding sex on a sex-free app? We support our prior statement that "Luxy is a dating app for giant rich douches," but we generally hope that everyone on Luxy loses all their money in a Ponzi scheme. You're set up on a foursome with a friend and two anonymous people and are told to go into a restaurant until sparks fly. Grindr actually predates Tinder by three years and absolutely nailed the dating game by simply giving people what they want: nearby folks who want to take the scenic route to the bone zone.
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However, you will be getting LAID EVERY SINGLE NIGHT (of the first Monday of the month when it's convenient) when you're married. Like Beanie Babies were supposed to do in the 21st century, Hot or Not made a legit comeback with its app. In the spirit of love, harmony, and unbridled passion, 3nder brings people together for the sole purpose of participating in a threesome. Burns is told that he has literally every disease in the world, but they've all balanced themselves out within his body and are keeping him alive. At first, yes—now people Tinder at work, in meetings, maybe during lunch, and DEFINITELY during Bar Mitzvahs.
What's especially satisfying is the taboo-free interface that, frankly, allows you to get as taboo as you want. Let it be known that Luxy only ranks high in this list because hundred-dollar bills are a straight-up aphrodisiac in America. I mean, you've got to know that people are down to clown if you match on 3nder—no one's on this app in hopes of finding a meaningful relationship with two dudes named Brad. Grouper has taken every part of a bad date and stuck them together until a good date is formed: rich tech kids, strangers, bad wingmen, and micromanagement. So when four aroused like-minded individuals are in an enclosed environment under the guise of bragging about their startup until someone's pants come off...well, that leads to a new sexual move called "The Steve Hand Job." Tinder is about as 21st century as it gets. Tinder has become tricky in the sense that some people have caught on and realized there are decent human being on this app...however, if you swipe right on a Saturday at 2 a.m., you're not going to wake up alone—OR ALIVE. When you have a successful business and a whittled-down user population, you're going to have one successful hookup app.
It's a no-nonsense approach to dating apps with its "I'm here to f*ck" mentality," but when you see that most of the users may/may not (but definitely are) legit prostitutes, the fun is lost.
Unless you like prostitutes—I mean, that's guaranteed sex right there. You can tell me, I'm not a cop* Let's face it, after Tinder took off, the appeal of Ok Cupid started to wane—much like the flaccid penises who were getting ignored by the instant gratification swipe of Tinder.